Executive Assistants Are Like Martinis

We're all different, but perfect for someone

When I attended UCLA, I was one of those kids who always had to work while going to school. This was a blessing in disguise in retrospect because it exposed me to a number of different types of jobs and helped me figure out what I liked and didn’t like to do for work.

One of the jobs I had and learned the most from was as a server at The Cheesecake Factory in Brentwood, CA. I am still so surprised I was given an opportunity to work here given zero restaurant background and considering how chaotic of a restaurant this particular Cheesecake Factory actually was.

Before working here, I didn’t understand how difficult it was to work as a server, a host, a bartender, a food runner, an expediter at an incredibly busy restaurant. I always thought, how difficult is it to seat people at a table? How hard can it be to take people’s orders and bring them their food?

God, how naive. If you’ve worked in a restaurant, you get it. Post Cheesecake Factory, I now think it is essential for everyone in the world to work in a busy restaurant at one point in their lives. It would make the world a better place. But I digress…

On one of the busiest nights (actually they were all very busy nights if I recall correctly), one of two servers for the bar area called in sick, so they put me in there to cover her.

Now, at age 42, and having had a number of drinks and work experience in my life, if I was a server again, I could run circles around that bar AND with my eyes closed. But back then, at age 21 (shit that was 21 years ago!!), when Southern Comfort shots, Smirnoff Ice, and Adios Mother F’ers (omg I’m gagging) were all I knew of alcohol, I had no business serving in the bar.

My very first customer that evening ordered a “vodka martini” among other things. So I quickly wrote down “vodka martini” on my scrap paper and took the rest of their order.

I got to the POS machine, clicked on “vodka”, then “martini”, and moved right along. Easy peasy lemon squeazy, right?

The bartender calls me over. “Janet, did they say what kind of vodka they wanted?”

Fuck, I don’t know. Regular?

“Oh and how do they want their martini?”

Omg, what does that even mean? In a triangle glass?

“Did they say what flavor?”

What? There’s flavors??

I felt dumb because I was ruining the momentum of the bartender, I had to go back multiple times to the customer, and I had other tables to tend to but it was clear I was flustered and freaking out. That was a lesson I would never forget (clearly, since I’m writing about it now).

Anyway, I swear there are 500 million different ways you can drink a martini - you can have it classic, up, shaken, stirred, extra cold, dirty, extra dirty, Gibson, dry, wet, perfect, flavored (like lychee, espresso, etc.), with whatever vodka or gin you choose, etc. And don’t even get me started with all the fancy, flavored martinis out there that use different liqueurs, juices, syrups, and rims!

When I was at a dinner recently, my husband got an Extra Dirty Goose Martini with extra olives, I got a Tito’s Lychee Martini but asked for it to be over ice with a straw (I know, blasphemy, shush), and my friend got a Lemon Drop Martini. This made me realize that for every person out there who drinks, there are certain flavors, types, and ways of drinking it that work for each of them.

Executive Assistants are like martinis - every EA is going to be unique bringing different strengths with them, and every EA will have particular execs they work better with than others. In the same vein, each executive is going to work better with an EA who has a certain personality style, working style, number of years of experience, sense of humor, way of communicating, etc. that fits them.

And you know what? That’s ok. That’s preferable actually. Because knowing this will help you, as an EA, find the right match to an executive you could potentially work well with, and it will also help the executive understand that connection might be a better hiring indicator than bullets on a resume.

I’ve supported over 45 executives in my lifetime. I’ve learned to adapt quickly to all of them, and I like to think that I had a great relationship with all of them. But even with that experience, there were executives I liked working for and with better than others, and I’m 100% positive that even though I may have gotten along with and learned to adapt to them, I, and the way I did things, was not everyone’s favorite.

If you’re an EA looking for a job right now, figure out who you are as an Executive Assistant and what value you bring to the table, and find an executive who needs and prefers those qualities and characteristics in their work life.

In other words, if you’re an Espresso Martini, don’t work for an executive whose go to drink is an Extra Dirty Martini.

Good luck, and hope you (whether you’re an EA or an executive) are able to find your match.

Cheers!