How Do You Make People Feel?

The role of an Executive Assistant is uniquely personal. With every new job, you have to start from scratch - new exec, new company, new culture. Nothing carries over. Why? Because no two EA roles are ever the same. No two executives are the same. And no two companies operate the same way.

But there is one constant.

The universal human desire to be taken care of.

If you lead with that, everything else about your job becomes a little clearer. Most EAs can figure out a calendar. Plenty can book international travel or plan a polished offsite. But not everyone wants to take care of their executive. Not everyone knows how to either. And not everyone sees that as the heart of the role.

It’s funny because you’ll never see “take care of your executive” on a job description. It doesn’t quite fit under “core responsibilities” even though that’s like the most important responsibility. To me, it’s the difference between a good EA and a great one.

Over the past decade, I’ve interviewed hundreds of EAs - probably around 170 in the last seven months alone. The ones who stand out? They all lead with care. It’s in their tone, their language, the way they speak about their work, the way they describe their relationship with their past and current executives.

They aren’t just looking for a job - they’re looking to make someone’s life run better, smoother, easier, they’re looking to take things off of their exec’s plate, and they’re looking to learn how to adapt to their exec in order to be the best EA for them.

When you approach your work with the intention to care, everything shifts. You begin to think differently. You take initiative, remove friction, and look around corners. You want to make sure your executive is prepped for their meeting, has something to eat between calls, and feels supported before a big company announcement.

You learn to calendar in a way that mirrors your exec’s energy, not just their availability. You learn how to protect their time and know how to push back on folks. You draft emails and manage inboxes with their voice in mind. You grab coffee because you know they need it. You make sure no meetings go past a certain time so they make it to their kid’s soccer game. You do your very best to learn your executive.

It’s not about being nice. It’s about being intentional, working with purpose, being strategic.

These aren’t just tasks. They’re care in action. You can only do these things well if you care and know how to observe and pay attention.

I started reading Unreasonable Hospitality by Will Guidara, and while I haven’t finished it yet, the ideas resonate deeply in our EA world. Guidara talks about creating extraordinary experiences by going above and beyond - being “unreasonably” generous with your time, energy, and thoughtfulness. That mindset? It’s exactly what separates standout EAs from the rest.

Ask any EA who loves what they do, and they’ll tell you: they care. Deeply. About their executive, their team, the company, the work. And this care translates into making people feel taken care of.

Ask any executive who has had an incredible EA, and they’ll tell you their EA took care of them and the team, was on top of everything, and was responsible, reliable, trustworthy, adaptable, and proactive.

One thing I know for sure is that more so than it being about the work you do, it’s how you make people feel and how you make them feel taken care of. But also, you can’t do a bad job if you start out with a mindset of taking care of people. I feel like it would be a contradiction, no? Like how would you even let yourself do a bad job if you cared about taking care of those around you?

On the flip side, if you care only about yourself and your growth, it will show. You may end up focusing on the wrong things, potentially burning bridges, making bad executive decisions, not understanding your executive. Of course, you do have to care about you and your well being, I’m not saying don’t focus on you. But only focusing on you is what can lead to a negative outcome, if not in the near-term, then definitely in the long-term.

When you can make your executive and team feel taken care of, that reputation is what’s long lasting. That is what makes way for more opportunities. That is what people remember you for even after you part ways. That is where all the positive backchannels about you will come from. That is what gives you your bonuses and raises and promotions.

So wherever you are, whoever you support, always remember that people have a natural human desire to want to be taken care of. It may be to varying degrees (I know some execs are a hard nut to crack), but deep down inside, I think we all have that want in us.

Lead with that mindset, act accordingly, and everything else will follow.