Janet-ism #1: Most of the time, YOU are in control
When I left Dropbox in 2018, I emailed the entire admin team a long list of “Janet-isms” (called that mainly because I couldn’t think of anything better). It was a list of all the things I learned while working there - a list of my last words of advice, if you will. I recently came across them again and thought it would be fun to share and expand on them one by one starting with this one (the full list can be found here).
This is what I wrote, in all lowercase letters in true Janet fashion lol: “you are in control of your feelings. you are in control of the mindset you choose to be in. you are in control of how much you want to dive into a situation or not. you are in control of how many 1:1s you have on your calendar. if you’re drowning, take control of your time and learn to prioritize it better. if you heard some gossip, how you react to it is in your control. if you heard of a situation that affects you, you are in control of how you want to handle it. don’t blame other people. look within first.”
We can’t control the things that happen to us, but we can control the way we react to them. I think this is such an important philosophy and way of thinking (enter Stoicism). And it’s super helpful in helping me personally move forward, grow, and progress as an EA, as well as a human being.
I encountered numerous situations at work where situations blew out of proportion (there were lots of misunderstandings and communication issues), some EAs (including me at one point) were drowning because they had too much on their plate (including 8-10 casual catch-up 1:1s scheduled sporadically throughout the week), and there were clashes between executives and their EAs (for a number of reasons that could’ve have been controlled). And of course, that’s not even the half of it.
The point is, if you find yourself caught up with a heavy workload, on the brink of burnout, in too deep with work drama and gossip, in too many meetings, etc. then take back that control and prioritize what is most important to you. You don’t have to take on all the work by yourself, you don’t have to do all those meetings, you certainly don’t have to do all those 1:1s, heck you don’t even have to be at that company! Lol. Maybe I took that one too far (or maybe that’s just what you needed to hear? hmm), but you know what I mean.
Learn to put yourself first. Learn to say no tactfully. Be your biggest advocate. You are in control of how you react to things, people, situations, emails, Slack messages. You are in control of your own schedule. You are in control of managing your own workload.
I know it’s easier said than done. And depending on your personality and childhood trauma (I’m a people pleaser, but story for another time) and life experiences, you will react to this message differently, but it IS possible to be in control of yourself - no one can control your emotions, thoughts, opinions, workload, health. It just takes lots of practice and time. I say this because I know (and it’s still something I have to actively work on).