Janet-ism #2: Building Relationships
Boosting your effectiveness as an EA through building relationships
The number one piece of advice I give to any admin who asks me how they can be a better Executive Assistant (EA) is “build relationships”. Building relationships helps you get shit done. The stronger your relationships are and the more you have, the more you can become an asset in your role, and the more it will help you in your future. This is why EAs who have been in the role for many years are naturally much better at their job than EAs who have done the role for a year.
I like to mention building relationships because I’ve seen people succeed when they are great at it, and I’ve seen people suffer when they didn’t take the time to do it.
I gave this advice once to an admin assistant, and she said “I don’t feel comfortable building relationships with people”. I get it. I am an introvert, I get anxiety in large crowds, I don’t like small talk, and I don’t like having to be “fake”. But building relationships is not all about small talk and needing to become someone’s best friend. It can be done in so many different, subtle, even silent ways.
Remember this quote?
“…people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” - by Maya Angelou
It’s true. And that’s the basis of how I view relationship building.
Here are some examples of ways one can build relationships:
If you only have time to do one thing, then say ‘hi” and “thank you”
People, including you, want to feel appreciated and acknowledged. Sometimes, all it takes is a simple “hi” and “thank you”. Honestly, greeting the front desk or security team when you walk into your office or in today’s remote-era, a “good morning” text or cat gif (this never seems to fail lol) on a Slack channel could be sufficient. Throw in a bitmoji for good measure or download Slackmojis and start reacting with :meow_party: (or whatever Slackmoji shouts your name).
Remember people’s names and things about them
Not a necessity, but if you are able to do this, do it. This skill is a huge asset to you as an individual. Utilize it.
Help coworkers who need help (time and bandwidth permitting), even though they are not your exec
I feel like this is just an obvious human rule, so I’ll leave it at that. Obviously though, don’t offer to help if you’re not able to keep up with what your main role is.
Do your job well
This is another obvious one to me. People will learn to trust you, respect you, rely on you, talk about you and how great you are, and naturally will want to get to know you.
When scheduling meetings, take into consideration other people’s schedules and work with them to make meetings work
Don’t be that EA who just schedules meetings for your exec without looking at other people’s availabilities because you think everyone should accommodate your busy CEO. Other people have lives and personal schedules, take those into consideration and really try hard to find the “best” time that works for everyone. Sacrifices will need to be made, sure, but the fact that you tried and communicated that with others will make a world of a difference. People will remember this.
Get people who help you a small gift of thanks
I once gave someone who helped me with a task a bag of white chocolate M&Ms and put a post-it note on it saying “thank you for all your help” because I knew they loved these. It cost me less than $3, but helped me build a relationship that I still have with them to this day. They happened to work in the mailing & shipping dept at our company, and over the course of many years, they have helped me so much with last minute shipping fires and urgent mailing requests or deliveries that my execs had.
Send your vendors referrals
Referrals mean more business for vendors, which in turn means more sales and more money. People love referrals. I am still friends with vendors I worked with at my previous full time job, and we still help each other out even though I left 5 years ago. I cannot count the number of times I’ve run into an issue involving my execs and had one of these people come through for me, still to this day.
Like or comment on people’s social media posts
Social media can stir up lots of conversations online and in person. I’ve made some great friends and built lasting relationships with coworkers over Instagram conversations. A quick like or a comment or bringing something up that you saw on a coworker’s post the next time you see them are great ways to start conversations and build relationships. Don’t be fake about it though. If you find yourself being too forceful about your likes and comments, then this is not your style. Move on to something that’s more you :).
There are many more ways one can build relationships. Find what works for your personality.
So now, back to the question this post is based on — how does building relationships help you be better at your job?
Building relationships helps you:
know who to go to for quick answers and problem solving
get things done faster and more efficiently, especially last minute
schedule meetings with others easier
understand what’s happening on your executive’s team
pull favors from others
get a table at a restaurant with no more reservations available
get special access to popular or sold out events, conferences, parties
build your reputation, making you more reliable and trustworthy
etc. — my list is endless
On a semi-unrelated note, building relationships will also help you in your future. Everyone you come across might be able to help you one day, whether it’s a week from now or 5 to 10 years from now. For example, backchannel referencing is huge in the Bay Area. People whom you rarely worked with before might get asked about you when you’re looking for your next role. Maybe they can’t speak on what it’s like to work on the same team as you but they could speak on your reputation. Will they remember you as that EA who was considerate of everyone’s schedules and collaborated with others to make things work? Or will they remember you as that EA who was on their high horse? Will they remember you as a badass EA who got shit done and could make the impossible possible? Or will they remember you as being unreliable and inefficient and gossipy?
This brings me to the next question, with whom should you build relationships with? Aside from the obvious answer of “everyone”, here’s a general list:
your executive
your executive’s direct reports and their teams
people in all the different departments at your company — i.e. shipping/mailing, cafeteria, janitorial, PR/Comms, Marketing, Engineering, Product, Design, Finance, Legal, etc.
vendors you use frequently — i.e. car service companies, travel agents, restaurant managers, and florists, caterers, event planners, to name a few
other EAs internally and externally whom you communicate and schedule with often
Build those relationships, and I can assure you, it will not only come in handy in the future, it will inevitably help you get things done, build your reputation, and become better and more efficient at your job overall.